Pam Landry » Opinions

Brother Can You Spare A Job?

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:00:01 +0000

Like so many other folks, I am unemployed. More precisely, I am partially employed, working part-time at two radio stations and picking up occasional voice-over jobs all of which I am grateful for but all of which combined will not pay my mortgage let alone my electric bill.

And, like so many other folks, I am only partially employed because of a horrendous economy, not because of anything I did to get myself fired. I was laid off from a place I went to for nearly 20 years. A place that was part of my DNA and a place that, in many ways, came to define who I was.

All of which is why, when I was suddenly and unceremoniously laid off in April, I felt as if my world had been pulled out from under me. See, my job was not just a job, it was my career; something I had built over the years, succeeded at and was extremely proud of. I loved my job. I always told people I had the best job in the world and I meant it.

My Mom and Dad always told me that if I worked hard and was a good person I’d be successful. Losing one’s job while doing all the right things at that job wasn’t something I understood. I was number one at what I did yet my job was taken away from me…I was eliminated from the place where I had loyally served for so many years. They decided they could do without me. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

On April 17, 2009, my “husband” of nearly 20 years told me he didn’t love me anymore and he wanted me to go away. Just like that. I was in love with “him” and I thought we had such a happy marriage! I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of the kids, and I made passionate love to “him” at least 5 times a week, never straying, but somehow it wasn’t enough and suddenly, after nearly 20 years of being in that happy marriage, I found myself forced to start dating again.

I didn’t want to date and I didn’t have any idea how to date.

But my “husband” didn’t care and although I hoped “he” would reconsider and take me back it that still hasn’t happened.

If you are lucky enough not to have ever experienced being laid off, you won’t know about the strange things that go along with such a life-changing turn of events. As if it’s not earth-shattering and ego-blowing enough to lose your job – through no fault of your own – when you suffer the misfortune of being laid off people who you thought were your friends are suddenly nowhere to be found. Apparently, this species is afraid of catching the “lay off disease” from you even though it’s really not contagious. Really. If you get laid off, be prepared for this very odd and disturbing phenomenon. You may never hear from some of your former co-workers who you considered friends. It hurts. A lot. But the upside will be the NEW friends you will make. People you never really knew before will reach out to you offering ideas and their friendship.

But be aware that to find your new circle of friends you do need to get yourself out there; they aren’t simply going to manifest in your living room while you sit on your couch in sweatpants eating a bowl of ramen noodles. Of course it is tempting to hide under the covers and feel miserable but, personally, I am too much of a worrier to have allowed myself such an indulgence…I HAVE to work for a living and sitting in a corner rocking back and forth certainly isn’t going to help me find employment. I’ve heard it’s not a “skill set” (an expression that I despise) that looks good on your resume.

If you get laid off be prepared to hear this expression repeatedly from people who really do mean well: “when one door closes, another one opens”. You’ll hear it. A lot. And the other ever-popular phrase: “things happen for a reason “.

Okay well it’s been six months for me and I am still waiting for the reason to reveal itself and for the next door to open. Is there a statute of limitations on these phrases?

People have actually told me I need to “move on” and those are always people who are employed; people who have no idea what it is like to have your career derailed, your life turned upside down and your future uncertain…when you did nothing wrong. Move on to what? Of course these people have not been thrown out into an economy that is teetering on the edge of a 10% rate of unemployment. I may need to move on but they need to pay attention because they might very well be next. Oh and a little compassion for my situation would also be appreciated.

There is one thing of which I am fairly certain: when I get my next full-time job, whatever it may be, (hey are you hiring??) it will make the scars of being laid off heal a whole lot more quickly. Because six months after my “husband” disavowed me, I am still riding that rollercoaster of emotions that being laid off presents: some days I am angry, some days I am sad; other days I feel scared and lost and always I am still wondering why this had to happen.

Just please don’t tell me it happened for a reason.

Move Over!

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:30:39 +0000

Hey kids, there’s a new law in Connecticut. It’s called the “Move Over” law and it was passed because, apparently, there are so many self-absorbed drivers on the road that the state has to start fining people to get them to pull their heads out of their you-know-whats.

In case you don’t know, the “Move Over” law says motorists must slow down when approaching a stopped emergency vehicle that is displaying flashing lights and, when possible, should move over one lane to give said emergency vehicle room to do their emergency business. Seriously…we need a law so people will pay attention to emergency vehicles with flashing lights? Perhaps if people weren’t so busy doing everything BUT driving when they get behind the steering wheel our state lawmakers could spend their time passing more important legislation.

Well okay maybe not.

But really. It is amazing to see the extent of oblivion to the world around us that so many drivers exhibit today. Take directional signals. I use them when I TURN and also when I CHANGE LANES. And I even use them in parking lots…imagine that! I use them because it’s the law but mainly because I am not a mind reader and I’m fairly sure most other drivers aren’t, either. The attitude appears to prevail that many drivers perceive themselves to be THE ONLY PERSON ON THE ROAD: hey I know that I am turning a corner or changing lanes so why do you need to know? Right. Signaling would actually indicate that you are acknowledging another driver’s existence and that is not something one needs to be concerned with when one is the center of the universe.

Yes; using the directional signals on your vehicle is acknowledging the existence of another human being besides yourself. Get out! Courtesy and respect for other people…who has time for that? I am far too busy talking on my cell phone, yelling at my kids or eating my lunch; how can I possibly be expected to notice YOU.

And don’t expect me to come to a full stop at that stop sign either, buddy. That’s YOUR responsibility.

I have my own version of the ‘Move Over” law that I’d like to bring to Hartford. It would have an expletive in it, as in “Move the $@&* Over”. The law would apply to drivers who insist on commandeering the left lane (also known as the PASSING lane) when there is ample opportunity for that driver to “Move the $@&* Over” to the center or right lane. This phenomenon is especially irritating when it occurs on a two lane road, where it inevitably clogs up traffic for miles, ultimately forcing vehicles to pass on the right, and in doing so, often coming dangerously close to those cute little chubby groundhogs that for some odd reason enjoy eating while sitting bolt upright, inches from the cars zooming past them. Now, it may be the Yankees birthright to get to the playoffs every year but it’s NOBODY’S birthright to plant yourself in the left lane and piss off other motorists who are trying to pass you. You either don’t have a rear view mirror in your jalopy or you don’t know what it’s used for other than, perhaps, applying mascara or combing your mustache.

Just where are people learning how to drive and who is teaching them?

Are courses taught in common sense or should that be legislated, too? I’m sorry sir/madam you have no common sense. That will be $150. Might just keep the stupid people off the roads. Hartford…are you listening?

On Being A Mets Fan In A Yankee/Red Sox “Nation”

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 07:55:19 +0000

Hello my name is Pam and I am a Mets fan.

Yup. Yeah I know. Most people in the Nutmeg State say “WTF?” when they find out I’m a Mets fan. Sometimes I think I’d get less of a reaction of bewilderment if I said I was, say, a Padres fan. Or a Nationals fan. But a METS fan? Sometimes people take a step back from me and give me “that look” that says: when you can be a fan of THAT OTHER NEW YORK TEAM WITH ALL THE RINGS AND ALL THE HISTORY or that BOSTON TEAM THAT HANDED IT TO THAT OTHER NEW YORK TEAM IN THE 2004 ALCS you actually are a METS fan?

Yeah, well, I am a Mets fan. Builds character, I say.

I grew up in lower Westchester County, NY where both my Mom and Dad were Yankee fans. My big sister took me to a Mets game sometime in the early 70’s – a doubleheader – and I became a Mets fan. That simple. Tug McGraw was my hero. Ya Gotta Believe. And I did. I still do. Tug told me to.

Listen to any broadcast interview conducted in Connecticut, or read any interview in a local Connecticut publication and the question is posed to the interviewee ala the “boxers or briefs” question:

“Favorite baseball team? Yankees or Red Sox?”

Uh…Mets.

But the Mets are never one of the choices offered when the question is posed.

And then, as a Mets fan, when you encounter another Mets fan it’s this feeling of contentment; this feeling of “yeah, WE know the team to root for” acknowledged with a smile and a nod; perhaps a thumbs up. For a Mets fan knows the specialness of being a Mets fan and of spotting another Mets fan. We are the blue whale, the giant panda, the snow leopard of baseball fans…we are, indeed, like an endangered species as each year of spending our days and nights rooting on our baseball team seems to become increasingly futile.

A true fan wears his or her team gear regardless of how grand or how putrid that fan’s team is. Mets fans know and embrace this. It is a badge of courage; loyalty. Mets fans are loyal through victory or defeat…or defeat…or defeat. You’ll never catch a Mets fan with cobwebs on his or her Mets cap because it is worn each and every day. If the Mets closer blows a save – or 10 – it’s another blown save, not the end of an All-Star closer’s career because, well, his career must be over because it’s his second blown save of the season and it’s September.

When the Mets win a game it’s pure joy. When the Mets win a series it’s euphoric. When the Mets make the playoffs it’s, well, RARE, but it’s over-the-moon terrific. When the Mets win the pennant it’s grab-your-toes-and-scream-out-the-window fantastic. When the Mets win the NLCS to go to the World Series (I was at Shea to see it happen in October of 2000) it’s around-the-world crazy happiness. And when the Mets win the World Series it’s … well there are no words.

I was at Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Yes, the Bill Buckner game.

And I was at Game 3 of the 2000 “Subway Series”…the game was at Shea and it was the only game of the 2000 World Series that the Mets won.

Sure it would be swell to have the Mets win more, get into the playoffs every year and of course to the World Series. But Met fans know it is not our birth right. We are more accustomed to our team NOT getting there than getting there.

But if and WHEN they DO get there, it is so much sweeter. It’s a feeling that only a Mets fan can know and appreciate.

Maybe next year.