Generally, it takes nine months to have a baby.

Which means I have now been without full-time work for as long as it would have taken me to have a baby.

Counting up my part-time jobs: There are two on-air radio jobs, a third job writing for the New Haven Register, a fourth job doing some occasional office work for a friend and I suppose I could include my freelance voiceover/narration work as a fifth part-time job.

Add up all my part-time jobs and I still don’t come close to anything resembling a full-time salary.

Sure, I’ve applied for all sorts of full-time jobs…I have to since there are no full-time radio jobs to be had and I don’t have a wealthy spouse or family money but I DO have plenty of bills to pay.

Yeah it’s all well and good to chase your “dream job” but in the meantime I have that pesky requirement for a paycheck. No one else is gonna pay my bills.

Not to mention my last full-time job was damn near my dream job but I was kicked to the curb…a budget cut…another “victim” of the crappy economy. My former job was not just a “job”. It was something I built and something unique and wonderful because of the people I was able to entertain every day and the causes I was able to champion via a mighty powerful radio signal. And those people rewarded me with the top ratings in New Haven. It’s not easy to get over not having that part of my life anymore.

So I’ve applied at places like Petco and Whole Foods. I’ve applied for city jobs like dispatcher and assistant clerk. The list of jobs I’ve applied for goes on and, in nine months, I’ve gotten none of them.

Of course the problem is there are too many of “me” – unemployed people – looking for work.

I see you nodding in agreement.

With all the disappointment, depression, anger, fear, disbelief (and an array of other adjectives) that has filled the past nine months of my life there have also been some uplifting moments.

I have met some of the most wonderful people. Really. People who knew me because of where I worked but people I’d never met. They reached out to me and gave me friendship and new opportunities. Hopefulness. Like the folks behind this website.

And for that I am so grateful.

I have gotten involved in things that I may not have ever gotten involved in while still at my former full-time job. I’m writing again. I’m taking a lot of photographs that people like. I’m learning a lot about social networking.

Every day I worry about how long it will take me to get back to full-time employment and, in the meantime, whether the money will hold out. I still have dreams – both good and bad – about my former place of employment. There are days when I still can’t believe I’m not there anymore.

Thankfully, Spring is around the bend…there are signs…the sun gets a little stronger and higher in the sky every day. It’s not pitch black at 4:30 in the afternoon anymore. The stores have their Valentine’s Day cards and candy and decorations out…the red and pink colors feel like Spring. The “spring preview” catalogues and e-mails have started appearing. And pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in five weeks.

Spring, for me, is a hopeful time of the year. Even if it IS the time of the year when I got laid off….

And so, I try each day to focus on the good stuff and push the negative energy away.

Something’s gotta give.

Play ball!

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